Self-reflection can be a very difficult thing for most people. It is scary to look within! Truthfully I tend to look at things through rose colored glasses. I could easily complain about my crazy schedule from running my own business, teaching, taking three classes, a wedding and moving. Oh and by the way is Christmas coming soon?! I instead tell people I am living the dream, mostly because I am living. Tomorrow isn't promised to us and I try to appreciate every moment on this earth (even though I sometimes forget to be so grateful!).
My physical well-being I have trouble rating. I feel so lucky to be alive and have my health. I would love to rate myself a ten but if I truly reflect inward I would lower it for sure depending on the day. I was in a car accident and suffer from a pain disorder that will complicate me having children. I truly feel lucky that I have a medication that manages my pain and even though it will be complicated I still will be able to have children. Yet there are days (few and far between) when I feel angry, bitter and that it is unfair. I struggle with this and my positivity about the situation is something I work on daily. Spiritually I would rank myself a 9. I only take away the one point because sometimes I lose faith in people. There are some atrocious things that happen in this world. When I think about these things I choose to focus on the heroes. Psychologically I rate myself a 8. Like I said earlier there are days when I mentally struggle with my situation but they are rare for sure. All and all I feel so lucky to be alive and that I have the health of myself and my family. Wow truthful self-reflection can be brutal!
My physical well-being goal is going to be linked directly to my psychological goal. My goal is to focus on my positive aspects of my health and to train my brain into acceptance of my situation instead of occasionally bitterness. My spiritual goal is to continue my work on sending out love instead of judgment. I believe even quick judgments that are never verbalized can bring negative thoughts into your brain. I am going to work on only positive loving thoughts about everyone and everything.
In class this week we did a mediation technique
called The Crime of the Century. I had a
love/hate relationship with this exercise.
I enjoyed the part of the exercise that talked about opening up and
seeking balance. I found it useful and
relaxing to work on my breathing and sending out positive thoughts to
people. I did have some difficulty
imagining the different color light beams shooting from my body. I know that they were the Chakra colors and I
see how it could be beneficial for some people.
For me though trying to force these images took away from the exercise
and relaxation. Over all I ended the
exercise feeling energized but relaxed.
I would like to find a mediation tape like this exercise but perhaps
without the visualization.
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